Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Things are changing….

and I don’t know if it’s for the good.  No, it really is but it sure doesn’t feel like it. 
***  WARNING **** 
This post will not have anything that I have made or crafted.  

I just need to talk.  I hope that’s ok and if you want to move on to the next blog that’s ok also.  I just need to get these feeling out whether anybody is listening or not.  

My baby girl has moved out of the house and many states away.  It is one of the toughest times of my life right now.  I know she is ok since she moved to live with her older sister, in Seattle, but it sure doesn’t make me feel any better.  When her sister and I talked about it early on I knew it would be for the best.  It is time for her to grow up and realize how a young adult woman like her should act.  How she should treat people, respect and hopefully realize what she had here.  To me, mostly miss her mom.  One thing I did, that did not help, was raise my little girl in what I call a bubble.  I say that because she really never had to lift a finger, do anything for herself, whatever she wanted she got.  Well within reason but if I could do it, it got done or given to her.  I thought or I was doing it all due to how much I love her and she was my last little baby.  She ate it up.. she loved it.. and sometimes she thrived on it and definitely expected it. 

Our relationship was so great up until she turned around 16 – 17.  Then something happened.  She still had the expectations of that 12 year old that wanted her mommy to do everything for her but she had the hormones and bullhead of the 17 year old that didn’t need her mom to ask her anything or get into her business.  As long as I listened to her stories and never tried to give her my opinion, make a comment or ask any questions, all was well.
I won’t go on and on.... I think you get the idea and maybe there is one or two of you out there that have gone through the same thing. I do have to say a TON of her attitude and our fights had to do with her older brother.  He isn’t the best he can be and is struggling himself but that’s whole nother “book”!  Well needless to say she was going to be leaving  on the 26th but last Sunday she changed the flight and just left, moved.  So right now I am pretty hurt… she did come in my room and said goodbye but she got a friend to help her pack and drove her to the airport.  No way for your baby to leave..  So I have not heard from her and I really don’t expect to for a while.  She is very stubborn and matter how much she might love me she is not the kind of person to back down or ever say she is sorry.  I know one day, most likely due to her older sister (she is the rock of our family) she will call me and act like nothing is wrong.
Thank you for letting me get this all out, if there is anyone that stuck around to read this.  If there isn’t anyone, that’s ok because I feel a tiny bit better… and I mean a very tiny bit better to written it and I get to pretend I am spilling my hurt out to someone who cares. 
Now on to the only good thing that has come out of this horrible hurtful week.  The only thing that I can keep busy with and keep my mind off of what a screw up my stupid family & life is.

I get a craft room!
I am so drained from this post and the emotions I have running though me that I will save my ideas for my craft room for tomorrow. 
Thanks again for listening.

1 comment:

Valerie said...

Sorry you are going through a rough time. I hope you win the scraprack and take her class. Tiffany is awsome.