First I have to ask if anyone is still following me out there? I know I have let everyone down by always disappearing and posting so sporadically. I really do have good intentions and goals to keep this up but along the way something happens. I know some of it and I'm going to be so honest right now. I have big bouts of depression and just don't feel like doing anything. I have pity parties for myself and don't want to see anyone or go out anywhere. I just want to stay in bed and cry. There have been a lot of difficult times in my stupid life and I must confess that I have brought most of them on myself, but 7 years ago I totally changed my life, the way I think and treat others. I really believe in karma and always be nice to others. Life really hasn't gotten better but I keep going.
So anyway that's really as far as I want to get into it. I am grateful I have 3 great kids. I only wish that two of them understood how much damage they are doing. I won't be here forever. I am SOOOOOOO grateful for my mother. She is the most wonderful woman in the world!!!!!!!!!!!! I only wish I was a better daughter and could take care of her the way she should be. She is a saint and deserves it.
So right now I can only say I am sorry and really want to try my hardest to post something a couple of times a week. Even if it's just another talk between blogging friends.
On an up note.. I know it's about time, right! I have so many projects going on right now, all at the same time, I don't even know where to start. That is one of my worst problems and believe me the list is long. Every time I turn around or lay in bed not sleeping because my brain doesn't ever turn off, I think of another project I want to do.
I want to thank you for letting me get this phsyco babble out tonight and I know all of you are shaking your heads as you should be. I am also that scared of myself.
BIG MAMMA LUVS YA